Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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