perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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