also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize
