Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
