how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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