dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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