I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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