Me too!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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