My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
