she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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