marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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