I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
