Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
