I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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