Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
