so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
