her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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