just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
