do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
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You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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