This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
