Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
