Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
