isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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