So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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