i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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