Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
