I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
