you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
