i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize