so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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