Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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