I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
