Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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