my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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