he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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