There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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