WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
