Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize