I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
