we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
