Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she peed on how many people?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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