Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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