they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
