i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
