just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
