I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sext me about skeletons
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
