just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
