Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize