i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize