Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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