i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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