i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
honey bunches of taint.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
