you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
