At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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