i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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