I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
