dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
