All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
