you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
