so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
