Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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