then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
