I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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