We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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