I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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