i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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