then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
